Vivald|sSiMo

Friday, July 28, 2006 What will happen after 3 years???

Was having lunch with my classamates today and Clare said, "I will really miss doing all this when we graduate..." well something like that.

anyway it got me thinking for awhile...what will it be like? will we all still be friends, enemies? no one knows i guess. for me I am dreading that day very much. part of me knows that it is just around the corner and the other side of me says, "no....no...no..." funny thing is i have been thinking bout it recently but just did not blog. sigh. I feel sad just thinking about it.

I have had my fare share of "break ups" in schools and organisations. I know it's difficult and i alsways have withdrawal symptoms that last for months. I have thought of not being too close to my classmates and all but its difficult. I think again and i ask, whats the point.

I will really miss my darling classmates when i leave NAFA. I just do not know how to cope with it. one thing i've learnt is, ppl change for good and sometimes for worst. especially if you are not around them as frequently, they tend to stray away from you. I hate this to happen and i feel dame sad when i see old friends who do this when i see them. i'm not saying they will for sure change for the worst, but i am weighing out the possibilities.

I cherish the momets I have with my classmates cause frankly speaking i do not know if i will get a chance to that again. All the silly games, jokes, crap, attitude, bitching, lunching, dinners, events, activities, projects, supporting each other performances, fighting, anger, frustrations, happiness, disturbing lecturers, making funny songs of ppl...etc i'll miss this all. just thinking of it makes me feel uneasy. just simple thing as sitting next to each other in class or on the bus would be cherished. well life would have to go on yes but it would be more difficult i would say.

there is one thing i know about being a musician is that, we are all emotional and sensitive. I have to admit i have fallen for musicians around me and it is difficult to snap out of it....but i did. another thing about us is that, we don't always tell what is actually in our head. we keep it in, afraid of being judged. or atleast i think like that.

In NAFA i don't always, or should i say almost never, express my true feelings or emotions for a person in school. it would be too dangerous. i think this is commonly know as "admiring". yup.

I was sitting in class today just wondering, what if just one of us was not there.....it would make a world of a difference..atleast to me.

I can feel myself reaching the fragile peak...i got it before but it went out of control and i did drastic stuff..i don't want to talk about it. ppl becarful yah...

3 years is coming to an end....what will life be after that...only god knows. even if the future is bad, i'd like to thank him for giving me this 3 years in my life, and filled it with weird and wonderful FRIENDS. Thank him for all the good things i have learnt and gotten from ppl. and ask frogivness in things i was not meant to do.

If i could express words as well as i express in music, i'd paint the sky with words i feel for each and everyone of these ppl.

CHOWS~

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Thursday, July 27, 2006 The Lake House

some nice photos of 'The Lake House'

The actual Lake house....it would be nice to live here jhee jee

This is Sandra Bullock...she is very pretty don't

you think hee hee

Another pic of her

The Movie poster....SO NICE!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to catch this movie.... i hope it would be good, if not waste money hee hyee.....

CHOWS~

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Wednesday, July 26, 2006 Things we say over tea...

Hello,

Well somethings have been on my mind recently. Frankly speaking, I don't want my composition to be played. Reason...hmmm only some ppl know.

Just in case ppl: I have not been feeling too good lately and I am afriad that I might blow up at one of you fro no reason. So just in case I would like to say a BIG SORRY.... to what ever i might or going to say or do that might hurt others. SOrry again. I'll get over it soon...I hope.

Anyway, had a nice conversation with X recently. Talked about thing running through my mind, but not alll of it hee hee. I felt better after talking to X. I think, it was one of my most loved conversations i've had since i got into NAFA.

Getting to NAFA has made me realise that, not everyone around you is there to help you or listen to you. I found very little space to express my feelings, instead i hide them in my blog, and see if pppl get it. hmmm X is a funny person always doing silly stuff and telling jokes that make no sence....hmmm everyone is special, I guess X has its own way hee hee no offence.

one thing X said that i felt abit sadden was, "...I am actually a very lonely person...". Although I just sniggered when X said it, but it is still in my mind. not sure why. I feel that no one should ever be lonely in this world. it is tough and depressing. I think X has a great character and i feel comfortable with your company....one of the very few i would say....but then again i still don't know you really well i guess.... hmmm i am willing to take the chance. I am sure you would be more surprise at mine rather then me of yours.

hmmm not sure if i am of any help but...like everyone says...."I am always here..." yup so i shall say that tooo....X, I am always here to talk too....that is if you want hahaha.

just in case any human or animal might thing wrongly, I don't have a 'THING' for X ok!!!!!!! hee hee just in case, with the friends i have....i'll never know.

don't explode your brains just yet X, still need you hahahahhaa

wonder what will it be like 10 years from now, will we feel then same for the people around us? will it be better? worst? only god knows. hee hee

SMILE PPL!!!!!!!

CHOWS~

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Sunday, July 23, 2006 Reading your life....

Well I was here in school doing my Orchestra of a Beethoven Piano Sonate. I felt bored so i decided to pry into a friend's blog. for now this friends is C.

not sure why i went to C's blog but I started to read it. The thing is I read fro the first entry which is like a few years back. I realised something about C. You change for the people around you. and it is interesting that, from just readin the way you write, you have not changed much. I know i am contradicting myself but this is what i find interesting.

hmmm anyway a msg to C: Read trough your life again and rediscover yourself...there's more human in your blog then there is in person.

well was thinking about a few things too. but that is for another time hee hee

CHOWS~

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Gadfly Pic!!!!!

Hey ppl,

here are the pics I took at my SNYO concert hee hee. I love them ahhaha. anyway the camera is courtesy of Alicia, my classmate.

ok here is the first pic i took. this is pip-pip. he is in my section. fun guy and crappy at times hahaa. hes not leaving but just add hee hee.

This is the Orchestra's Twins, Ying and Ming tse hee hee... hope I got is right hee hee. fun gals too...

ok this guy is Yi Zhe. so sad he dis-located his shoulder like 5 days to the concert. he did not get to play but atleast he came for the concert hahhaa. fun guy. will miss him too..

Heres one with one of my many scandals hhahhaha. this is Zara (not the shop name) she is really fun and full of shit hahhaa. love her company and her funny voice when she sings. (guess what, she does not know the lyrics to Twinkle Twinkle little star...serious!!!!) hahahaha will miss you Gal..... haahhaa

Haha my XIAO MEI MEIs.... hee hee. the one on the left most is Lanabel...dame good violinst and i can tell you she's THE nest big thing man....guess what, SHES 12 years old. hahahaaa and she easily out plays many fully grown musicians. cool gal and humble too... looking forward to working with her in SNYO again

Hahaha this is Zheng Yi, My bitching friend in SNYO. he is really fun and rally nice. he was one of the first few really great friends i made in SNYO. I will miss his company. good luck for your exams and all...!!!!

This is part of my section. from the left: Pipetius, Shi hui, Jeremy lim, and Wan Ping hee hee cool working with them.

This is Daniel. I'm sure all of you know. I have know him for like 11 years man hahahaa my jr in secondary school. nice to see him being the principal hahahaa.....finally grown up... but still useless Pignix... ahhhahahaa

This is Stefani, hahaha one of my scandals too hee hee... real fun to be with and she is dame funny gal hee hee...

THis is Ike. The Concert master!!!! hahaa sounds like a game show.. ok anyway yah real good violinst....guess what he's in tune ahhahaa. funny guy full of crap. hee hee.... jokes he tells somethimes does not work hee hee.....chill dude.

This is Andris, everyones fav. Cellist hee hee. She's really cool and funny too. I like her company but i'll miss her alot. *boo hoo hoo. She is really fun to be with. hahahhaa Good luck for your exams gal.... will miss SMSing you during orchestra rehearsals hahahaa

This is Zhi Wei. hahaha know her like recently only but she is really fun to be arounfd with..l she has a quircky sence of humour. hahahaha also everyones Fav. Viola player (don worry Chiew mee mee.... we love you too....!) hahahhahaa will miss her company too and yah we still have not played our F major together hee heee must fly back to vienna. good luck for your exams gal!!!1 will miss you.

THis is Leen hee hee one of the craziest girls i know hee hee really fun to be with man. I think she is really cool and funcky hahahaa. looking forward to the next concert hahaa

This is Aaron. my good friend in SNYO. total bitch man....really crappy and also fun to be with. I will pls your company man and your stupid crap....i think he is a slut ahhahaa ahahhahahaha will miss you man. good luck for your exams!!!!

This is Yulin!!! I think she is dame funny and crappy at times. i think she is very pretty too but NOT with those BLUE EYE BALLS!!!!!! haahhahaa see you

This is Hatim!!!! he is one of my more normal friends hahahaa but he can get crazy too... will miss your company man. good luck in your Uni. well he is going to Chicargo to study medicine cool right hahahhaaa next time doctor fees will be cheaper for me ahhahaa good luck dude!!!

And Yes who can foget of our Mrs WOng. the mother behind the Orchestra hahahaha dame funny women hee hee

You have been graced by MR.VoGue at -5:56 PM-

Fun weekend

Hey,

went to club on Friday night to celebrate my friends 21st birthday. not bad it was quite fun hee hee. interesting Mix of ppl i saw. anyway i sahll not go into detail.

yesterday i went to oriental for interenational buffet..ahahaa DAME NICE!!!!!! wow man i at like a pig man. all thaniks to CLarenece!!!!! hee hee THANKS!!!!! well it would be hard to go into detail so i think you ppl should go and get mesmorised by the food yourselves hahaha.

anyway here is a pic i forgot to put in hee hee:

Guess whos sexy marvalous legs these are hee hee......no prize for the correct answer haahahaa well maybe...hee hee !!!!!!

CHOWS~

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 Remembrance....

On this day last year, SNYO was leaving Vienna back to singapore. It is sad to actually think about it. just one year ago I was in Vienna and now in Singapore. ahahahha. at the end of the Vienna trip, the members were really starting to bond. it was no longer, Strings, Woodwind and Brass...It was an orchestra.

I made alot of good friends during the trip. Some I miss alot now, just thinking of them. Some friends I wish i got to know more and become better friends. now these people are leaving the orchestra,...its worst. One year was all i had. enough? never. I woke up this morning thinking that i feel different. and when i cheaked the dates, hahha i was right. it has been one year. hahaha. weird. I wonder if anyone else felt the same hee hee.

It has also been one year since i knew H. and yes H is leaving. double blow. sigh.

happy one year!!!! happy? i don't think so....

amazing how one trip to a beautiful land can change an orchestra so much. not only in music but the feelings each member have towards each other and the orchestra.

amazing.

sigh.sigh.sigh.

CHOWS~

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Friday, July 14, 2006 All I ask...

I was confused.

What do I do?

What do I do? I asked.

I God for his guiding Eyes.

The answer came.

Yes it did.

I followed.

Followed with happiness.

Felt joy.

Joy in Giving

Giving something

Something I never knew I would give

No reaction

none

...

Silence

I followed

Follwed i did

Did I follow correctly?

not sure

In return

nothing

nothing but silence

good or bad?

I seeked you in times of blindness

blindness I had for doing things

Things i was afraid of doing

Sight you gave, of awkward beauty

What have I done???

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The MistaKe was.....BeinG toO HonesT!!!!!1

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 Funning feelings

Hello,

Well yesterday I had my SNYO concert and I think on the whole it was a good concert. I think the main highlight of the concert was infact, not the Concert at all. It was about the people leaving the orchestra. I have many friends both old and new that were leaving. I felt sad and about it and I have to admit, I had to hold back my tears.

We had bonded over the months and for some case, over the pass year. It was hard for me to write 'thank you' notes and give flowers to them. Part of me wanted this 'dream' to keep going and keep the same people where they are.

Not sure why i feel this way but I guess i am a weird person and i am not shy about it. some people said "ah yeo so sissy give flowers to guys..." well I think it is more humanly and manly to be not afraid to express ones feelings. I think by me giving flowers to friends is a way to express my thanks and feelings for their friendship. friendship that will, i hope, will be strong for long.

Well...thats life.

I Miss You Guys!!!!!

CHOWS~

pics up soon.

You have been graced by MR.VoGue at -7:15 PM-

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 A little thinking i made...

well some thoughts have been again running trough my mind. firstly I was thinking how I would feel if this was my last concert. I know i would be having this sick feeling. not sure if those leaving are having it. well i was talking to Pignix yesterday on the way home about this. and he said, "It is sad that they leave just when we are starting to bond.." I felt that is so true. I regret not knowing them longer or earlier in my SNYO life. To so members this is just another orchestra. but to me, I grew up in SNYO, grew up to be a musician. I love the people there and the many friends I made along the way. some of them i knew for a long time others just recently.

we came from different lives and background, sat in one room and made music together. though there were difference between sectiopns, it was always resolved. I think the Vienna trip really bonded the orchestra. now you see more mingling between strings and winds and precussion. it is joyful to mix around and learn about each other. I feel sad because many of my friends are leaving.

lik andris said, "someday, our lives will cross...we may be playing in the same big orchestra one day..." wonderful words which i will always carry with me.

Hmmm, I sort of bonded with Hatim and Ike during the Man of Letters gig and now both of them are leaving. sigh. it upsets me. two of my other dear friends are Zheng Yi and Aaron. my bitching friends in SNYO. I will miss the times we talk crap and company you have given me. sigh sigh.

well I can't think of anythingelse. or maybe i just don't feel like writing.

all good things have to come to an end.

You have been graced by MR.VoGue at -9:28 AM-

Friday, July 07, 2006 Lesson Learnt

Hello,

well just like to talk about the this years SNYO composition compoetition. well i got a prize and i was happy. but i felt that i composed to please the "judge" i tot was going to judge. well in the end it was another judge. this judge G, said that my piece lacked depth and thus got a not so good prize. i felt it was true and he was right, i composed in a rush. hmmm well all is over and i have learnt my lesson. next year i'll do better. THANKS DOC for your advice hee he

thats al;l; for now hee hee.

CHOWS~

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Monday, July 03, 2006

As I fall asleep at night,

I escape from this world,

of sorrow and pain,

and enter the world,

of joy and fantasy.

As I fall asleep at night,

I see you in my eyes,

not your body or mind,

by your heart,

your heart which i fell for.