Friday, July 28, 2006
What will happen after 3 years???
Was having lunch with my classamates today and Clare said, "I will really miss doing all this when we graduate..." well something like that.
anyway it got me thinking for awhile...what will it be like? will we all still be friends, enemies? no one knows i guess. for me I am dreading that day very much. part of me knows that it is just around the corner and the other side of me says, "no....no...no..." funny thing is i have been thinking bout it recently but just did not blog. sigh. I feel sad just thinking about it.
I have had my fare share of "break ups" in schools and organisations. I know it's difficult and i alsways have withdrawal symptoms that last for months. I have thought of not being too close to my classmates and all but its difficult. I think again and i ask, whats the point.
I will really miss my darling classmates when i leave NAFA. I just do not know how to cope with it. one thing i've learnt is, ppl change for good and sometimes for worst. especially if you are not around them as frequently, they tend to stray away from you. I hate this to happen and i feel dame sad when i see old friends who do this when i see them. i'm not saying they will for sure change for the worst, but i am weighing out the possibilities.
I cherish the momets I have with my classmates cause frankly speaking i do not know if i will get a chance to that again. All the silly games, jokes, crap, attitude, bitching, lunching, dinners, events, activities, projects, supporting each other performances, fighting, anger, frustrations, happiness, disturbing lecturers, making funny songs of ppl...etc i'll miss this all. just thinking of it makes me feel uneasy. just simple thing as sitting next to each other in class or on the bus would be cherished. well life would have to go on yes but it would be more difficult i would say.
there is one thing i know about being a musician is that, we are all emotional and sensitive. I have to admit i have fallen for musicians around me and it is difficult to snap out of it....but i did. another thing about us is that, we don't always tell what is actually in our head. we keep it in, afraid of being judged. or atleast i think like that.
In NAFA i don't always, or should i say almost never, express my true feelings or emotions for a person in school. it would be too dangerous. i think this is commonly know as "admiring". yup.
I was sitting in class today just wondering, what if just one of us was not there.....it would make a world of a difference..atleast to me.
I can feel myself reaching the fragile peak...i got it before but it went out of control and i did drastic stuff..i don't want to talk about it. ppl becarful yah...
3 years is coming to an end....what will life be after that...only god knows. even if the future is bad, i'd like to thank him for giving me this 3 years in my life, and filled it with weird and wonderful FRIENDS. Thank him for all the good things i have learnt and gotten from ppl. and ask frogivness in things i was not meant to do.
If i could express words as well as i express in music, i'd paint the sky with words i feel for each and everyone of these ppl.
CHOWS~
You have been graced by MR.VoGue at -6:22 PM-
