Sunday, February 03, 2008
Feeling terrible about myself recently. Thinking about the life i am living now. Thinking about my purpose each day. Right now i wish i was studying. Studying the things i love and live for. I remember the days where i will get so excited over performing and playing together. I don't get it here right now. Looking for that right mix. I miss performing Solos, Orchestra etc. I miss the feeling of reherasing for that performance day and when you finally finish the last note, it really feels good. like a good chocolate bar.
I still remember something my friend told me before i went into PARADISE, "I hope you lose the weight but i hope you don't lose yourself and become someonelse". This was something that i kept in mind and at heart throughout my PARADISE journey. At the end of it i asked myself did i lose myself? The answer, i think i did abit. Now i was to get it back and it is so difficult. GOne are the days where once friends look at you for you and not by the clothes you wear. nowadays its the opposite. If the clothes i wear be the reflection of my chracter, then i would be wearing Pink, Purple, Neon Green, electric Yellow and anything bright and playful. but i don't. At the end of the day I am still me.
You have been graced by MR.VoGue at -10:16 AM-
