been finding it hard to concentrate on my work lately. Not only work, on pretty much everything. Practicing, rehearsals, ...and the worst was when i was watching a movie with some friends, i just lost all concentration on everything around me. Even as i eat an innocent meal, be it alone or with others, i just can't concentrate on anything.
Well i think i have fallen for L again. It was that one late night out with her and everything came back. all the memories, fun times, good'ol stories...everything.
Meet some friends that night for some drinks, during the night i got an sms from L and i was so happy that my eyes and heart nearly popped out. I could not think about anything else. after the drinks i decided to go meet L. well i guess we do crazy stuff just to meet the person you really want to see.
Got made fun off and misunderstood for meeting her that night but i don't give a FUCK!!!
Well as usual i was so happy to see her that i could feel myself smiling ear to ear...even at 3am in the morning. after all these years i still have no courage to tell her how i felt about her. I guess i'm very contented with her company. I feel that somtimes we take the company of our friends for granted. I know many people like the idea of clubbing, pubing, drinking and partying the night away, but for me, simply sitting at the neighbourhood kopitiam having some nice classic hawker food and drinks with someone to talk to is really good enough. It does not take much to please me, just something done with a good heart.
went home quite late that night, but to be honest, i could not sleep since then. I have been thinking about you none stop. seriously. I'm literally going mad and fighting the endless battle in my mind. Seeing and hearing you out with others just breaks my heart but i know you are happy so i will stay away and watch you from afar.
I cherish every moment i spend with you. It is like spending time with my angel. I feel at peace and my heart beats in a comfortable tempo. I know that these moments are rare and i never know when i will see you again. I'm guilty in the fact that i take pictures of you in my mind, when you are sad, happy, angry etc. so that i can see them in my mind before i sleep.
I'm crazy over you and yes i'm falling for you again.
Really sorry for not updating for like a uber long time. Well this is like the peak period of my work year. feeling stressed about the current trip and its preparations. Really wish sometimes people would support you rather then make the situation worst for you. Honestly i find it hard to please everyone.
Being in this organization has taught me one thing, how to just do what you are told. Which i personally feel should not be the way. Just because you are higher up does not mean you are always right.
Anyway been thinking about L again lately...I thought i have found closure but i guess i just put it one side. I have been trying to find a way to get her out of my mind and my life. It is never going to work out. She has become a person i do not know anymore but still i can't forget her. Even till this day i still think about the day we met and the things that happened. I was so happy then. Sometimes i really wish i did not meet her. Wished that i had listened to my inner voice and just ignored the meet up. I still ask myself Why did I choose to meet her. L has captured my heart and mind for so many many years and still i have no courage to face her in person.
after countless attempts of telling her the things that she should not do and stuff, i can now only sit and watch from afar. watch her kill herself slowly. and i cannot do anything. I feel frustrated and helpless now. Why does she not listen??!?!?! You tell me you take this friendship seriously and yet you do the things i dislike right infront of my face with so much joy. What have you become?
YOu have always been like a little sis to me. I have always been there to make sure you are alright and always there to catch you when you fall.
I see now that you don't need me anymore. I can only now watch from afar...praying that you will be alright and that you will see my point one day.
sorry to post this after so long...i guess i was just keeping it inside for too long.
You have been graced by MR.VoGue at -9:14 PM-
|Not ToTally All (B|uE) abt Me...ReaD and DiscoVer|
All Hail *bow* (Name): Mr.VoGue
D.O.B:27th Feb 1985
Home:Asia
School:The Academy
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