Hello,
well have not updated for a long time hee hee. well basicall was having like rehersals everyday and hardly have time to blog cause there was lots of homework i guess. and also did not feel like blogging. anyway had the band concert on wednesday. well not too bad but sad to hear that it was the Guest players and Professionals that made the biggest mistakes in the concert. I always thought the "pros" would know better...i was wrong.. not all of them do. sad lah. I will FOR SURE not look up to them but i guess respect must still be given as they are still teachers. oh well.
For a moment like this some people wait a lifetime.... yes for that one special moment some people truely wait a lifetime. Well I tought i have gotten over you but i did not. it was merely hidden in heart...it was hidden so well that i did not even realise it. until i saw your eyes. I was reborn when i saw those eyes that i fell in love with. I know it will never be possible so i need to pull myself together and get further away from you. it is tough especially when you are a friend to me. How do i do it in a subtle way that you don't realise??? how do i do it when you are alwasy around me. Love is truelly blind, i fell for someone i don't like...I hate it when you speak or do things that annoy me...but why do i feel love??? i do not know...but what i know is i must give you up...for my own good. pls help me to do that. I am not strong enough to do that.
Love is something that is so beautiful yet painful in all aspects. it is confusing and yet pleasing. something so brilliant and full of life yet can bring death to some.
Amazing
I had a conversation with a friend recently. lets name him, Hippo. Well i was talking to Hippo and we just came to the topic of Love and this crush he has with one of my friend. Well it came to a point when i asked him, "Have you told a girl you liked her and she said she does not feel the same way?". he said "yes of course." . the thing that amnazed me is that he said it so calmly like it was nothing. then i told him," I can never take the word No. I do not have the courage to tell a girl i like her. mainly because i am afriad of the answer...especially if it is No." Well i went on to tell him, "Given the choice of telling her i love her and Death....Death is much easier to do." oh well. Its easy for some but very tough for me.
the only time i told a girl i liked her was in Kindergarten. I was young and already for the world of love. (blame it on the soap operas i was watching when i was 6-7 years old). well i liked this girl named Kimberly. she was very nice and sweet. i remember i liked her voice and smile. we would always talk to each other, eat together, sleep together (we were young...in KINDERGARTEN....don't get the wroung idea ppl). hahaa I even remember seeing her in the toilet during the Bathe time. well at that time we did not care about being naked you see. hahahaa anyway i don;t remember much it was so long ago. well on the last month of kinder school, i told her i liked and said "you very pretty...like angel" then she just smile and hold my hand. hahahaa so sweet right. ahhaaa anyway after kinder school we went our seperate ways. since i kept it to myself, i did not tell my parents till this day. I had not number to contact her and also did not know where she lived. I was lost man. it was only in primary 2 or something i saw her...she was in CHIJ katong convent and i remembered her well. and this was two years+ since i last saw her. well we just saw each other and did not anything. she walked pass me, pass the corner and bye bye. that was the last i saw kimberly. I jave not seen her since. not sure why but my converstaion with Hippo brought back memories.
Yup she was the only one i told my true feelings too. sigh ever since i did not expressed myself so openly. oh well thats life. people come and go. when i find my Kindergarten picture i will post it up to show everyone ahhaa.
I have learnt to cherish the moments with the people around me.... i'll never know when i'll see them again.
I have cherished every single moment I have spent with H and L and YOU. the memories still haunt me every night before i go to bed. I pray to god to take this memories away cause i am not strong enough to take it on my own. My heart is strong but it is my Mind that makes my heart weak.
Someone once told me, "YOu know someday you have to tell who H and L and You are. You can't keep it in for long" my reply was, "well I did for 6years, i can do it for 6 more and more. I will bring their identity to my grave."
CHOWS~
