Sunday, October 08, 2006
you have things to settle with yourself.....DO IT!!!!
ok now i am like completely free man. I feel so high and full of life. on friday i went to Dr. Mannhart's concert with the Amadeus choral society. they were good and i liked the sound man. Dr. Mannharts sings like an angel man, i love his voice. COOL!!!!! while listening to them i was trying my best to hear all the four voice moving at the same time but i can't. i have to say i felt upset that i can't hear things others can hear. they won't know how i feel cause they can hear stuff. I have problems gearing inner lines and bass progressions. oh well. thats music fro you.
yesterday i went for the YST openhouse. well i went alone because certain ppl have a problem with punctuality that they need to settle with themselves. anyway that aside. the new building was nice. it was cool and mordern but abit cold in feeling. it felt like a hospital rather then a music consevatory. sad. In comparison to my school, even our walls speak with life and music. each corridor is fulll of life and sound. each studio is personalised making it feel like home. I'd settle for NAFA anytime man. Cold walls or singing walls? Singing walls obviouisly.
anyway after that went dinner with jerry pignix and piggy. was ok. nothing interesting. then went to esplanade library to find Christmas carols for our Christmas gig. saw kitty and the MPYC ppl. they were practicing for a wedding gig today.
anyway tonight i'm going for the Vienna Boys' Choir. YEAH!!!!!!!! can't wait. well a few ppl say they are not good and all. well i'll just go anyway cause i have not heard them live.
well holidays are going well so far. hmmm. when school satrt again its gonna be a mad rush of essays, portfolios, presentations, recitals, etc. Am I ready for that? not sure actually. Can I do it for this one last time? haveing doubts on that.
feel like running away from everyone. feel like hiding from ppl. I don't feel comfortable anymore. i feel insecure most of the days. i feel like shutting my eyes and never opening it again. I feel like being deaf so i don't need to hear ppl's criticism. I feel like being blind so that i don't see the double headed stuff they do. I feel like not having a 'heart' so i won't feel pity and compasion. feel like drowning myself in music. just listen and listen none stop.
some ppl i know like to creat their own fantasy world. a world that they are god. a world where they are perfect and others are not. funny that there are ppl like that. I know two in particular. the first 'blue'. blue likes to "pretend" to know alot. always trying to be learned and trying its very best to out shine others. well...thats just ego i feel. blue also is a pathalogical liar. telling false tales to impress and also to creat a sence of self pity. how sad is that man. hahahaha VERY SAD!!!!!! anyway blue never has a set group of friends and is always chnaging....then i ask. Who are your REAL friends? blue has some issuse that IT needs to settle before blue kills itself with its own lies. the second person is a know it all 'orange' well orange is not like blue but orange has this problem of THINKING that it is always right so much so that it becomes also an ego problem. whenever there is a mistake during a particular 'ensemble' practice and somthing sounds weird orange would always be ready to point fingers. easy to point yes but you must be ready to get the same treatment from others. orange thinks that it knows everything....this is a case of The bark is louder then its bite. SAD!!!!! well i'm not saying i'm too perfect and all i too have problems with myself and i do look to it. the thing with These two CLOWNS is that no one dares to tell them in the face. wHy? i'm not sure.
CHOWS~
You have been graced by MR.VoGue at -11:46 AM-
